I'm not gonna say much now cause i have nothing to say and when i do then i will say. :S

Anyway, love this blogskin :D

I know you dun. But i dun care~!

Damn i'm so speechless again.

Right...nothing to say then why am i blogging?!

P.S. I guess i dun only suck at studies, i suck at singing too.

I dunno what happened to my hair….

Ohhkay…Today’s been very…ummm, let me see if I can find the right word, uhh…RUSHING. No, that’s not really the right word but I’ll do with it for now.

First I knew I had to face Ms Zee for the literature project and I was dead nervous in the morning cause I know how nasty she becomes when she gets angry. So the whole while I was praying…and praying……and praying some more. Today, miraculously, I managed to go to school early and then SHE WAS THERE. I’m talking about Ms Zee.

YES she was THERE. Right at the parade square. I was walking over to my class and then she saw me and called me up. She was very nice……..damn, another miracle.

No, actually she is ALWAYS nice. That’s when she is NOT angry. And this time I expected her to be angry but she was not angry [it’s confusing] so she didn’t sound nasty. She didn’t sound nasty AT ALL. She called up pretty nicely and was about to tell me that she didn’t get the rest of the projects when I interrupted and told her my side of the story first. I told her I didn’t realize that their projects were with me since I was absent from school quite a lot of times and then I dunno what got into me that I started to forget all the important things [including what to study for exam] and started doing all the wrong stuffs at the wrong time and that she should spare them and cut my marks instead since I was entirely at fault [note that I wasn’t serious when I said that]

She gave a very….umm…indescribable smile and widened her eyes at me. I didn’t know what else to do so I stared back. THEN she did the most unexpected thing of all…

She was like, it’s okay dear. I just need the project by today cause I’m gonna key in the marks by tonight so you must get them to me by hook or by crook. Or is it nook? I dun care.

AHHH MS ZEE ROX!

Darn that was so unexpected. Thought I was gonna get scolded for good.

But that was the least of my problems. I had not even completed the project in the first place. Then I thought maybe I could stay back at the comp lab [since Ain, Veron and Amirah were going to the comp lab too] and finish the project, print it out and give it to Ms Zee by 4 pm. Then I freaking realized I left my thumb drive at home =,=

Then to make it all worse the teacher dismissed us late from school today so I had rush like hell to home, get my thumb drive and rush back to school. I took the bus to make the journey faster and thanks to my luck I had to run after it twice, both while going home and coming back.

Mom wasn’t home that time so I couldn’t inform her that I was going to stay back to do a project. And I doubted I would even have had the time to call her up.

Lucky for me I managed to finish the project AAAHHH….Then I left my thumb drive at the comp lab again…………but thank God I realized it before I left the school…….

Oh and the saddest news of all…..MS Zee is leaving the school….who is gonna entertain us in our literature lessons now?? She said some teacher is gonna take over us but I dun care how good that teacher is, I only want Ms Zee. I’m gonna miss her smile. Her funny talks…every thing about her…

I really can’t stand it when such things happen. It’s like something that you’re so used to, has been taken away from you. The whole life seems changed. The memories can be so torturous.

God…bloody Hell…I hate it…

P.S. Here’s a random sentence, hope she complains about me to him.

People usually don’t realize their mistakes. I know I don’t. But guess what… you don’t either.
† Mun †

I was supposed to do this quiz last year but I kinda forgot but who cares I can still do it now. Sorry, got a bit out-dated…[btw i've posted 2 posts today so scroll down to see the other entry]


[1]If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
- I...Damn...this question is so retarded...

[2]If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
- To ask for more of such similar dreams.

[3]If there is a choice between boyfriends and friends, which one would you choose?
- Friends.

[4]What kind of home do you think is suitable for living?
- Anything. As long as it has a bed and a TV. And is clean....and has no birds outside...And several more I’m too lazy to type out...

[5]What's your ideal lover like?
- I dunno...

[6]Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
- loving someone is a curse, as far as I’m concerned.

[7]How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
- MUST i wait...

[8]if the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
- Nothing.

[9]is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
- Yeah [you didn’t ask me to specify :D]

[10]is being tagged fun?
- what kind of TAG?

[11]how do you see yourself in 10 years time?
- A...woman?

[12]who are the currently most important people to you?
- Family

[13]What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
- =.="|

[14]Would you rather be rich and single or married but poor?
- I'm not saying anything yet...

[15]What's the first thing you do every morning?
- wake up.

[16]Would u sacrifice family time to spend time with ur friends?
- =.=" Dude...get a life.

[17] What type of friends do u like?
- Those who value friendship. And Don't BACKSTAB.

[18]What is the thing u cant bear to leave aside?
- Clothes. Goes to everybody.

[19]What type of friends do you dislike?-
Those who do not understand the meaning of friendship. Backstabbers. Egoistic idiots. Proud stuck-ups. BACKSTABBERS. BACKSTABBERS again. I'll think of more when i see one. Oh here's one, BACKSTABBERS. Bloody hell >.>


Hmmm….odd quiz….Haiz. I dunno why, and maybe it wouldn’t matter, but I think my friend has started to get sick of me now. So he’s trying his level best to talk to me as little as possible and be grumpy as much as possible :D

I asked Sirus for help and he wants me to forget it all but it’s not like I can do it THAT easily….sad case. Even my friends want me to forget. I can’t believe I annoyed someone that much lolls. Geez what the hell....

>.> I…………missed school again. How does that feel? GOOD. More troubles coming in.

Bloody Hell.

Hmmm. So, what do I have to say now? Nothing. I can’t find anything good to say. Nothing much happened these few days. I got back my Mother-tongue results like….2 weeks ago? And I still haven’t told my parents about it. I did so badly in this paper. Earlier I used to get about 90 plus for my mother tongue. This time I got 63!!!!!!!! Bloody freaking blasphemous HELL!

My parents are gonna thrash me, no doubt. This week is going to be incredibly disastrous so I may not be able to blog for sometime. Maybe I can get to use the comp lab at school…but…during the holidays….oh crap…no computer during the holidays… :S

God why ME?!

I swear tomorrow’s gonna be a disastrous day for me. Cause I haven’t handed in my literature project. Since I’m in charge of collecting others’ assignments too [surprising huh?] I’ve got some of the students’ assignments with me…..WHICH I HAVEN’T HANDED IN TO TEACHER AS WELL!

Damn it!

So now I’m in trouble and they are in trouble too. No, wait. I’m the only one in trouble. First I’ll get scolded for not handing in the project…..and…oh crap….Teacher’s gonna gimme me a zero for my SA and the rest will get a zero too… :S

Anyway, so I’ll get scolded AND fail my literature [make the rest fail too] then I’ll get scolded AGAIN for not handing in the other students’ assignments. Hmm….I have no excuse to give the teacher cause the project was supposed to be handed in like…a month ago. Great. Now I die. Other times I was saved by luck cause we have literature only once a week and she didn’t come for a lot of lessons. So I managed to get away. But now I can’t get away cause I’m sure she has marked our projects already and she’s gonna tell us our marks tomorrow. Wait, I just figured something out, I’ll get scolded by my friends too :S

And today Shazirah called me up and said I’ve failed my maths. I’m not surprised but…this time round I had a private tutor to get me on my toes and despite THAT I still fail what the hell. I haven’t told my mom yet. And no way am I telling it to dad. He wanted me to get full marks for my maths. If he hears that I failed [again] he’s gonna have a heart attack….

And also, My form teacher’s gonna get me too cause I’ve got no mc. And I’ve run out of excuses. Every single time I’m absent I give her a letter along with a very unusual reason as to why I was absent and now I can’t think of any new excuses and if you really want me to try harder then I’ll prolly [damn this word reminds me of someone] end up with a very dramatic excuse that will send me straight to detention. Hmph.

I’m surprised she doesn’t bother about it much these few days so I’m suspecting she wants to know exactly how many more excuses I’m gonna come up with in future. She needs to wait long enough cause I.AM.NOT.GIVING.UP.

And then another problem. I lost Sirus’ story and now I need to rewrite it again… [Bloody hell]

He’s gonna chop me to pieces if he ever comes to know about this. Argh thank God he doesn’t know my new blog address. I’m gonna try to finish the story as soon as I can and give it to him. Then I’ll tell him exactly what happened. Till then….i dunno. Till then he better wait.

I’m gonna post two entries today! Muahahaha~!

I know I am being lame. But you should know….i DUN care :D

P.S. tomorrow’s gonna be a bad day. Bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day.

I’m not a failure. I’m just a learner in process

† Mun †

Darn it, DARN it. I’m not able to blog regularly at all. What the hell? What did I do to deserve this? No net, no hand phone, soon they’re gonna drive me out of the house too when they get my school results. What the hell? Don’t I already look pathetic enough that they have to dig out more of my possessions and get rid of them?

Bloody Hell.

YES I am angry now. VERY angry. In fact, I’m FUMING. Put it however you want, I don’t give a damn.

School is very boring now cause they are doing nothing in there except for some…I dunno what to call it….workshops maybe. First few hours before recess there is completely nothing to do and then after that we have to go to the comp lab and sit there for a couple more dragging hours learning some things that I’ve got no idea about…

And I didn’t go to school for two days. First I didn’t go on Monday cause I got upset with my friend and I couldn’t sleep the whole night. Then woke up late. And the rest is history.

Then the following day I had to go and luckily my form teacher was absent on that day cause I didn’t have any mc or letter with me and her sarcastic attitude is the last thing I would ever want to begin my day with.

God I regret going to school on Tuesday……

First 2 hours, NOTHING to do. I kept listening to songs and tried scribbling in some songs into my diary. My friends called me up to join them in their group to chit chat but I lost the mood and decided being alone was better.

Then the worst part came when we had to go to the comp lab and then do some of that….i dunno what to call them. Anyway, we did some dumb things which were completely unnecessary cause the instructors never even came around to check if we were doing it properly.

Unless you got unlucky and they happened to be loitering around you.

Then you’re dead.

But even so, the whole workshop…thingy….whatever….was not necessary. They were making us practice for future references. Already I’m losing control of the present and they want me to think of the future.

Then after that MRS TOH came around. She came into the comp lab and luckily we all were leaving at that time so I tried my level best to leave the place before she could see me. Cause after all that trouble I caused her regarding the home econ project; I’m sure she wouldn’t wanna see me either.
The escape plan was fruitless and the moment I stepped out of the door she called me from behind. Was it my imagination or did she sound sarcastic? No, seriously. Maybe I’ve had too much of my form teacher so I’ve started seeing sarcasm everywhere. Even I have turned sarcastic. And this is how the short conversation went…. [At least what I could remember]

Mrs Toh: Muntaha [heavy sarcasm]

Me: *tries to smile*

Mrs Toh: Haven’t seen you for a long while. Did you go back to India? *glares*

Me: [first of all I dun even live in India] No...Uhh...I didn’t come to school for many days. [You never saw me cause I never came in front of you, duh.]

Mrs Toh: Why?*casually standing* *still glaring*

Me: I’ve had… umm… problems at home. [You dun have to think twice to know if it’s a lie]

Mrs Toh: *nods* *looks away*

Me: *quietly runs away*

THE END

No I didn’t exactly run away. And yes I LIED. Which wasn’t really a lie...cause I really was stressed about a lot of things before my examination. If I do badly for my exam, the first person I’m gonna thrash is phantom. Muahahaha~!

Forget it. I dun even wanna talk about him.

But Tuesday didn’t go all that bad cause I managed to use to the comp after school in the comp lab. I was looking for GazettE’s live performances and some of their official music videos.

And so after that horrible day at school, I decided not to go to school today. Which was a very retarded thing to do cause I have this very bad feeling Ms Lye won’t spare me tomorrow….

P.S. Now that I think about it, i didn’t even HAVE any escape plan at the comp lab =.=

Violent people are usually the ones who are very weak inside. Cause they dun have enough strength to keep their anger within.

Mun

This sickening life of mine keeps getting worse day by day. I wonder if anyone jinxed me cause I had been experience a hell lot of bad luck these few days. Really, implausible.

The day HAD to begin with that prefect’s face? I never saw him around the gate earlier and of all the days WHY today? Didn’t he know that I had exams today! Haiz…why am I blaming him? It’s not his fault anyway. It’s just that I’m meant to create chaos wherever I go. Ms. Chaotic

Which reminds me, my friend pointed out that I’m a bad girl and I’m not sure if he was joking cause I did not see his expression since we were talking on MSN. He’s the first person who ever said that and as for the rest…well I’m not sure if they are being kind or honest. But who cares. I never said I was a good girl xP and most importantly I don’t have to worry about rules anymore, cause bad girls don’t do that lolls. Although yeah, during some point of time I maybe wrongly accused. And if people who know me well can be dumb enough to believe all that, then there’s nothing that I can do. I won’t have to justify because they wouldn’t believe me anyway and if they did then they wouldn’t have believed in those pack of lies in the first place.

I know someone who talked behind my back and until today I’m trying to forget what she did but every time she appears in front of me all that hatred returns at once. I’m trying to talk less to her cause I fear I might end up telling her things that she may not want to hear. Hmm…I might be bad, but I’m not heartless.

And I’m seriously upset today cause my form teacher confiscated my necklace during the exam and that completely spoilt my mood and I started picturing my necklace on every single page of the exam paper which was tremendously disrupting cause I was hardly able to concentrate. Yeah I know it was JUST a necklace but it cost me money! You don’t get those colourful notes for free you know…

And I’m apparently typing with great difficulty cause today I got stung by a bee and thank God it was only ONE bee cause there were several more around there and if they had all stung me together then I would have been in the hospital by now. I was up at the terrace that time and my parents were there too and mom immediately started panicking as usual and dad started to pretend it was nothing [as usual] Then mom asked me to apply honey as fast as I could cause according to her it helps a lot but my father suggested that it’s nothing and that I should be a good girl and sit somewhere quietly and then they started to argue over it for some time and forgot all about me. So I went down on my own and applied honey. Mom came down soon after that, followed by dad. And mom was acting as though I was going to die and dad was scolding her for scaring me [which made no difference cause she still kept panicking anyway] and yeah….that’s my family. I love them anyway. The wound’s still bad. Haiz..

I think I did badly for my exam today……….hmmmmmmmm……..but I’m too sick to care. Oh well. Better luck next time.

P.S. I’m a bad bad girl~ in a bad bad world~ ….. [Freak I’m harping on it].

Miracles don’t exist. If they did, why am I still stuck here?

† Mun †

I’m posting three entries in a single day… =.=

That’s just great. Can’t help it, I’m just too impatient. And I should be blabbering now but I’m not hyper. UNFORTUNATELY.

So…umm….uhh…uhh…okay…my mind’s blank. :S

Okay so today was an official retarded day, and just like all retarded days this day went particularly bad. Firstly I woke up late (Which is nothing new but frustrating nonetheless), then i forgot to take my money (still nothing new), I DIDN’T DO MY MATHS HOMEWORK (again, nothing new), I bugged Ain, Veron and Minru to death by complaining to them nonstop, and somewhere around that point of time I was cursing at someone VERY loudly and I think that person heard me but it doesn’t matter anyway cause what that person did behind my back is nothing compared to what I do in front of her. I do nothing actually. I just curse from a distance :S

Aaaaaanyway. So shazirah was hanging around with her Malay friends, and I was left alone during some point of time but it didn’t feel all that bad since I really wanted to be alone for a while, considering all the chaos taking place in my life I seriously need a long break…

And HE still refuses to talk to me. [And that adds up to the major depression I’m going through]

Haiz…

English was boring as usual and I fell asleep during the lesson and the teacher was so dumb that he didn’t even notice me, or maybe he was too lazy to wake me up. Then Wei Ting came up to me and helped me out with this reflection thingy we were supposed to be doing and which I completely lost track of. So I had to force myself to take out a pen and paper and get on with the whole piece of crap. I still did it however I could, effortlessly without a doubt. Half the reflection didn’t make sense >.>

And then! We did the most retarded thing of all…..

We had only ten minutes in hand before the bell goes off and school is dismissed. The class was in a mess at that time, all thanks o the boys. And girls too, yeah. And Mr. Ho was busy looking after some of these boys and his attention was completely fixed on those loafers so Wei Ting and I decided to sneak out through the back door since we were seated around there and somehow we did manage to get out without the teacher noticing us :D

We ran all the way downstairs and we happened to be the only girls who were out of their class rooms along with their bags. I wanted to pass by Ain’s class when we reached the 3rd floor but somewhere nearby we heard Mr. Leong’s voice in one of the class rooms so we decided it was a bad idea and just went down anyway. Some of the sec1s were dismissed early too and this group of sec1 boys were going down as well and we thought maybe we wouldn’t really get into trouble this time and all that reassurance was short lived the moment Mr. Kong appeared out of nowhere right before us and pointed to those group of boys behind. We immediately went stiff. But had we stuck around there any longer he would have stopped us too so we pretended to act very casual and swiftly walked past him. I whispered to Wei Ting to pretend to head to the general office just incase he asked us where we were headed and luckily…LUCKILY he didn’t even stop us or question us AT ALL!

Narrow escape, AAHH!!

P.S. Tomorrow’s my exam and I don’t know what to study!!

I never asked for these feelings, they came by and consumed me~

† Mun †

Tsuki No Uta

kagayaita masshiro na T shatsumizu shibuki ni ukabu nijibonyari to mitsumeteru sora oikutsu mono kaze ga asobu nannimonai koto ga futari dake no shiawase datta
A shining, pure white T-shirt. A rainbow floating in a spray of water. Gazing thoughtfully at the sky. The wind plays with countless things. Nothingness was our own happiness

dare yori mo fukaku kokoro made oborete ima mo kono basho de kimi dake o mitsumetenido to modoranai yume naraba kowashite wasurarenakute mou ichido aitai
More deeply than anyone else, I even give my heart to you. Even now right here, I'm only gazing at you. If it's a dream that I cannot return to once more, I'll destroy it. You're unforgettable, I want to see you once more

shikirou kasanete kimi no kage, hiroiatsume
The mirages pile up. Your shadows, I collect them

tokei no hari o tometa mama de machitsuzukeru
I keep waiting for you though the hands of my watch have stopped

nemurenai yoru mo, tameiki no asa mokimi no daisuki na tsuki no uta o
On sleepless nights, and on mornings when you have to sigh. There's your beloved song of the moon

itsu kara ka tooku, karada made hanarete ima wa kono basho ni boku dake o nokoshite zutto kawaranai futari da to shinjita ano koro no you ni mou ichido, aishita
Some time far away, when even our bodies are left behind. Right now right here, only I remainI believed we'd always be together unchanging. Once more, like I did at that time, I want to love you

Gackt~

Darn it. An idiot will forever remain an idiot picking on a SERIOUSLY wrong time to create blog.